


Slouching is bad for your posture, Mitth’raw’nuruodo.

by JessKo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Thrawn does not remain a chair for the entire story I promise, the musings of an inanimate object in regards to their crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessKo/pseuds/JessKo
Summary: A story in which Thrawn learns the consequences of improper posture when utilizing a chair.Or, chairs revolt against our chronic sloucher and forcibly enlist him into their ranks. When Eli unknowingly takes a seat on his roommate, Thrawn finally understands just why these objects are so adamant about being used properly.
Relationships: Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto
Comments: 18
Kudos: 47





	Slouching is bad for your posture, Mitth’raw’nuruodo.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plotholes_ahead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plotholes_ahead/gifts), [FreakCityPrincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakCityPrincess/gifts).



> A huge thanks to FreakCityPrincess and Plotholes_ahead for entertaining and inspiring the very crazy concept of Thrawn as a chair, but with FEELINGS!  
> And kudos to Whiplashcrash for the amazing beta on this <3

In yet another long lecture at the Royal Imperial Academy Thrawn felt himself begin to slide down his chair, back curling comfortably as he slouched down and observed the speaker say mostly things he already knew. Every now and then, though, a new tidbit about Imperial protocol or regulations would be revealed, so Thrawn considered the class to be somewhat worth his time and attention. 

At his side, Cadet Eli Vanto tapped away frantically on his datapad trying to get down every word spoken. Thrawn thought the effort was not necessary as Eli was much smarter than the man would admit to even himself. But, Thrawn had observed that having the notes made Eli feel better prepared for examinations so Thrawn let it be, knowing that confidence could often be the deciding factor in a battle. 

This was their final class of the day, so afterwards the cadets were released to attend to their independent study wherever they wished, which for Thrawn and Eli meant their small quarters. There were two desk terminals, one for each of them, but Thrawn often preferred to work hunched over his datapad on his bunk. He enjoyed that the position had him in the shadow of the top bunk, the harsh lighting preferred by humans a bit intense to his sensitive vision, and also that he could stretch his legs out as wide as he wished. At the desk terminal, pushing his legs out straight would force the chair backwards and thus move him away from his work, making for a very cramped situation when he scooted the chair back in. 

Plus, he could look over the top of his device and observe Eli at work without being noticed, which was a mutually beneficial arrangement. Several weeks into their studies, Thrawn had realized he had more than just a fascination with Eli; in fact he was enamoured with the man. Not wanting to risk the tentative relationship they had forged however, Thrawn had not taken any action to further things between them, and had no plans to do so in the future. Yet, he always looked for any sort of sign that his advances might be wanted. Alas, none had come yet and Thrawn was fairly certain none would ever come. 

Losing track of time, Thrawn nearly startled when Eli suddenly stood up from the desk and stretched his arms over his head with a long yawn, stretching his body to both sides before dropping his arms to his sides. “I think I’m going to call it a night, can only look at these strategy outlines for so long before it becomes a spider’s web.” 

A reply not necessary, Thrawn watched Eli go into the refresher for his bedtime routine and focused back on organizing his own notes. From the bits and pieces revealed to him in each class, Thrawn had assembled a rather lengthy primer on Imperial protocol that he was slowly committing to memory. He realized with a pang of sadness that such an action would render Eli’s assistance obsolete, and likely lead to their separation, but it was a necessary evil. 

_“Hey!”_

Pulled from his thoughts, Thrawn responded to a call he barely even heard over the rush of water coming through the thin walls as Eli showered, “Yes, Eli?” 

_“I’m not Eli, now get your ass over here!”_

Balling his fists and jumping up into a defensive stance, Thrawn commanded, “Who is there? Reveal yourself!” 

_“Shhh! No need to yell, just walk this way.”_

Thrawn did not let his guard down as he approached the sound that seemed to be coming from the computer terminal. 

_“I have something I need to tell you…”_

“What is it?” Thrawn demanded. 

_“Slouching is bad for your posture, Mitth’raw’nuruodo.”_

The plain black chair before him then jumped into the air on its own accord, tackling down the Chiss in a tangle of limbs, plastoid, and durasteel. Thrawn felt his vision go black around the edges until there was nothing. Was this it? Was he going to die here, slain by a possessed chair? Was this some kind of Jedi trick? 

Then, as soon as the fight started, it ended, and Thrawn found himself staring ahead at the computer console. Not having any work to do, and wanting to get as far away from this corner of the room as possible, he went to walk away but found that his legs would not move. In fact, he felt that he had no legs. And no head, no arms, no nothing. With dawning horror, Thrawn realized that his consciousness was possessing the chair. 

No, he was the chair. 

Thrawn panicked, but not because of this fact, but he feared that the voice that had once come from this chair now controlled his body. 

_“Do not worry, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, your body is not in any danger.”_

“How do you know my name?”

_“Details, details, no need to think about such things. Let’s look at the big picture here.”_

“I am a chair.” 

_"That’s the spirit! And you are not just any chair, you are this standard issue Imperial desk chair! How exciting!”_

“This is hardly exciting. I would like my body back, and to know how you know my name.” 

_“The data terminal is right there, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. It is in the records.”_

Thrawn knew that not just anyone could access those records, and the records did not hold the proper pronunciation of his name. Only a few beings in this Empire held that knowledge, and one person stood out in particular. Emperor Palpatine. 

“Fine. Then again, I request to be returned to my body.” 

_“No can do, besides someone is coming, so hush.”_

On command, the refresher door opened and Thrawn heard Eli’s footsteps approach. “Hey, Thrawn, I was thinking about what Professor… Thrawn? You here?” Eli looked around the space and found no trace of the Chiss. “Huh. He could have gone to get a snack or something. Not his usual routine but what do I know.”

“Eli! I am trapped! Help me!” Thrawn shouted, but he quickly realized that it was no use. 

_“He cannot hear us.”_

Perfect. 

“Guess I’ll just look it up myself.” Eli mused, approaching. “Already shut my console down… I’m sure he won’t mind if I use his for a moment.” 

Eli turned the chair at Thrawn’s terminal around and Thrawn got a good look at him, hair heavy with water and nightclothes sticking slightly to damp skin. He was stunning as he stepped around to sit down. And when he sat, Thrawn thought for the second time that night he might die, but for an entirely different reason. He could feel everything from the press of Eli’s elbows into the arm rests to the gentle curve of his spine against the backrest. 

Eli’s thighs squished down against the seat pleasantly, the firm yet also soft mix of muscle and healthy fat filling up the space between the sides of the chair. His ass pressed down into the lightly padded plastoid and Thrawn felt himself slip between the cheeks currently leaving their imprint on his form. Thrawn noticed his feet were bare when they came to rest on two of the five cool metal bars holding his new chair shape upright. 

_“Be careful not to drop him.”_ The voice teased, or at least Thrawn assumed it did as there was really no way Thrawn could buck off the human with his being an inanimate object and all. He hardly paid it any mind though, what with this new euphoria of having all of Eli’s weight occupying his being. 

Eli’s perfect posture touched Thrawn in all the right ways, ensuring a snug meeting of their forms. All Thrawn could hope was that he was comfortable for Eli, as Eli felt so perfect sitting on him. When Eli moved to tap at the console, his forearms brushed along the armrests and Thrawn fought the urge to cry out in pleasure. As he typed, his whole body moved slightly with each press of a key, sending ripples down into Thrawn that were electrifying. 

So lost in that new euphoria, Thrawn didn’t even notice when Eli eventually powered down the console. After a final firm press of his hands on the arm rests to support his rise, Eli stood back up and Thrawn felt so painfully empty he thought he might cry, if he still had eyes that was. He felt utterly used and overstimulated and he absolutely needed more. 

As Eli walked away, Thrawn stared at the slight jiggle of his ass against those sinfully thin sleep pants, willing him to come back. It was obvious when he was so flush against Thrawn that Eli wore no undergarments either, which only made him wish even more for a message to ping the console or a stylus to fall over, anything to bring Eli back to him. 

Thrawn’s thoughts spun as Eli climbed up to his bunk, getting one last look at his gorgeous legs and then his arm as he reached down to toggle the lights down to a low din. Thrawn realized with a pang that Eli had left the lights low for his return, feeling his heart swell. He was thinking about him!

Yet, Thrawn was there. But he could do nothing, say nothing, and now see nothing with Eli so high up. 

_“You are lucky he did not tuck you into the desk. You’ll have a nice view in the morning.”_

Thrawn did not dignify that was a response as he stood guard over the room. Chairs did not sleep, so he spent his time simply listening to Eli’s steady breathing and the hum of the air vents as he tried to calm his brain. Yes, he was certainly attracted to Eli, but Thrawn was in no way ready for so much intimacy with no warning and so soon. In his thoughts, Thrawn knew that sitting in a chair was not an intimate act, and Eli was hardly aware of the circumstances, yet to him it had felt so incredibly intimate. In fact, the sensation that had overcome Thrawn was only comparable to orgasm. 

How he was going to manage this new knowledge of Eli’s body eluded Thrawn, but for once he was thankful for the long and lonely night hours to try and compartmentalize everything that had happened and to eventually face his feelings head on. Somehow, morning came far too early, when normally the night cycle felt like an eternity to the Chiss and the day was ushered in by two legs descending down from the top bunk. The first thing Eli did when his feet touched the ground was bend over to peer into Thrawn’s bunk, finding it a little rumpled but not slept in exactly as it was left the night before. 

Eli hummed curiously, peeking into the refresher next and also finding it empty. “I’ll give him until noon, and if he doesn’t show up by then, I’ll talk to someone and report him missing.” Eli said to himself, sitting down on the bottom bunk. Somehow, Thrawn felt a seed of jealousy plant itself in his core, screaming out, “No! Sit on me! Come here!” 

_“Ah yes, you understand now.”_

Thrawn would have startled if he could at the return of the voice. “I… It was an enjoyable experience to be utilized.” 

_“Oh but isn't it so much more?”_

Thrawn had to admit it was so much more than enjoyable to himself, but he’d not admit it to this… strange sentience. Eli’s mind apparently made up, he stood up to go to the refresher and emerged completely in the nude. 

Thrawn’s subconsciousness seemed to chant for Eli to come and relax on him, yearning to feel skin on plastoid so badly it hurt. His main lines of thought however were transfixed on the sight right before him, dark skin dotted with freckles with downy brown hair spread across his chest and between his legs. It appeared that when alone, Eli seemed to indulge in nude lounging, and Thrawn wondered if he was made to suffer, the object of his desires so close yet so unattainable. 

Eventually, though, it came time to go to the mess and Eli donned his cadet’s uniform and Thrawn watched him leave. 

“If Eli reports me missing, and I am not found, that could have dire consequences.” Thrawn stated not long after, the ramifications of this all hitting him at once now that his mind could clear in his isolation. 

_“Ah yes, you are one of the Emperor’s new pets, aren’t you. Very well, I won’t prolong this much longer. But I’d like to watch you squirm just a bit more.”_

Thrawn did not like the implications of such a statement and silenced himself, letting his thoughts flow. At least it also implied that he would be able to return to his body at some point, but the voice’s definition of ‘much longer’ could be a hundred years for all Thrawn knew. Eli returned all too soon and as he approached the computer consoles with a cup on caf in one hand and his datapad in the other, Thrawn prepared himself for the exhilarating sensation to come again. But then, Eli plopped down into his neighboring chair and switched on his usual console. 

“So this is what you meant by squirm.” Thrawn noted, uncomfortable with the thought of being neglected like this, ignored for a different seat of questionable sentience and morals.

_“Oh yes. Precisely.”_

A terrible thought rooted itself in his consciousness, what if the voice was the other chair that Eli now occupied? Not wanting to know the answer, Thrawn did not mention it, and could only stare as Eli began his work comfortably nestled against another. He swore to himself that as soon as he had his true form back, there would be no more secrets. Everything else be damned, he needed to know if Eli felt the way he did in any stretch of the definition. If not, well, at least then he’d have an answer instead of this hellish limbo he was currently living in. 

Eventually, Eli got up to relieve himself and Thrawn got a look at the chrono. “It is nearly midday. Eli will report me missing soon.” 

_“Ah, he will, won’t he? Seems to care a good deal about you, isn’t that nice.”_

“You know nothing.” Thrawn hissed, patience finally snapping. “You will return me to my body this instant before Eli returns!” 

_“Very well, but first a question.”_

The voice paused, as if waiting for a reaction. Thrawn gave it none.

_“Do you see now why good sitting posture is so important, Mitth’raw’nuruodo?”_

“Yes, yes. I understand!” Thrawn replied quickly, hearing the sink turn off. Eli was bound to reenter any second. 

_“Very well. You may return to your normal form. Now please, would you just sit on me properly sometimes?”_

With that, Thrawn found himself not looking out from the seat, but rather sitting on it after once again everything went dark for a moment. As soon as he opened his eyes, he rubbed his face, feeling the curves of his cheekbones and all of his other features returned. The refresher door slid open and Eli nearly jumped up at the sudden sight of so much blue. 

A whole lot of blue. As Eli’s eyes quickly snapped up and down Thrawn’s entire form, the Chiss realized he was completely naked in his seat. “Oh.” 

“What the hell Thrawn?” Eli shouted, running back into the refresher but not before Thrawn could see a hot blush creep over his features. Thrawn was sure that to Eli, he looked absolutely purple now with embarrassment. 

Quickly, Thrawn pulled on his own uniform, finding it back in its place in his storage crate. “You can come out now, I am decent.” He called over to Eli. 

“Uh, just a second.” Eli replied, voice sounding strained. Thrawn hoped he had not offended the man too gravely. Part of him wanted to go kick the chair for putting him in such a compromising position, but not wanting to test fate again Thrawn refrained from violence. Instead, he just tucked it in under the desk, not giving the item the satisfaction of watching whatever would come next. Glaring at Eli’s own chair, he envied the object as he ran a hand along the back of it. He also had half a mind to toss both chairs out the window and be done with this insanity entirely, but figured if he did that he may blink and find that it is he who is tumbling towards the ground several stories below. 

Not sure what to do with himself, Thrawn stood in the corner with his datapad, checking his inbox for any new assignments. When he finished responding to a message from one of the professors regarding a rather creative response to an essay prompt he produced, Eli emerged from the refresher. 

“So, where have you been?” Eli asked calmly, his face an impassive mask. Thrawn quickly realized he had no answer that would be believable in the least. 

So, he decided to reveal some of the truth. “I am sorry for my absence, but I took some time to myself to sort things out.”

Eli frowned at such an evasive answer. “Sorting what sort of things out?” 

Thrawn inhaled deeply. This was it. “My thoughts about you, Eli.” 

The heat soon returned to Eli’s features, and he didn’t have a response outside of a stuttering breath. Thrawn had placed his bet, now it was time to reveal his cards. 

“I care about you a great deal, too much to just let things continue how they are.” Thrawn said, forcing himself to maintain eye contact despite a burning desire to stare down at his feet instead. 

Eli cocked his head a bit, not looking unlike a young Csillan hound trying to understand a command given by its master. “Ah, ok. What do you need, then?” 

“If you would be agreeable to the proposition, I would like to take our friendship further.” 

Eli’s eyes widened, his mouth hanging ajar for a moment before he could formulate a coherent response. “I- You… Are you saying you want to be my boyfriend?” 

Thrawn nodded, taking a small step towards Eli and nothing more. Eli mirrored the gesture and Thrawn felt his body react to just that small motion, a hint at confirmation that Eli shared his feelings. His heart rate spiked, his hands and face grew warmer, and his throat tightened. Could this really be happening? “I am.” 

Eli took another step, looking up with deep brown eyes that Thrawn found himself lost in at such close proximity. “I’d like that. So, what’s a Chiss to do with his new partner?” 

“I would very much like to kiss you, Eli.” 

Eli smiles, a curling of his lips and flashing of delightfully crooked teeth. “I’d like that too.” 

Closing the last bit of distance between them, Thrawn stooped down with his arms glued to his sides, meeting Eli’s lips for a single second before pulling back. Eli sighed softly at the contact, but did not seem pleased as Thrawn moved away. “Thrawn, I’m not sure how it is where you come from, but do you mind if I show you how a Lysatran kisses someone they have romantic feelings for?” 

“Please do.” 

Eli pressed his body up against Thrawn’s, arms wrapping around his waist and lips meeting for longer. Eli held Thrawn’s lower lip between his own and Thrawn felt everything rushing back to him. The feel of every inch of Eli’s body now registered in his mind, Thrawn’s arms shot out to hold Eli just as he was held, holding him close and not letting go even when Eli tilted his head back. “You like that?” 

“Very much. Can I kiss you again?” 

“Stars, Thrawn, you don’t have to ask.” And so he didn’t, kissing Eli every chance he got until it was time for them to attend their first lecture of the day. For the first time, Thrawn sat up attentively though the whole thing. When Eli asked why, he said it was because he was so happy he could not sit any other way, but Thrawn knew that it was in his best interest to respect chairs by sitting properly in them from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that was Thrawn as a chair. I hope it was at the least entertaining!


End file.
